Sometimes I have to Tune Out

The wrap up of the presidential primaries can’t come too soon for me. It is getting indigestibly stupid. The Republican front-runner Mr. Trump continually hurls insults at his competitors, apparently auditioning his best impersonation of Don Rickles in case this political thing doesn’t work out.

Hillary Clinton leads the elderly socialist, Bernie Sanders for the Democrat Party nomination. She alternates between screaming monotone rants and disingenuous attempts at being hip or funny. Both approaches create the same reaction as fingernails on a chalkboard and remind me of an ex-wife that I’d rather forget.

Fortunately I have the option of turning off the media and spending time in the forest. It is an irrefutable fact that the high country has the ability to calm one’s nerves when they are being rubbed raw by politicians. I am concerned that as the political silly season continues, more of this country’s citizens will discover this truth while vacationing in Island Park this summer. They may decide to not return home and seek sanctuary in the caldera. The increase in population will shatter September’s calm and screw up the bow hunt!

If residents begin hearing visitors contemplating the move to Island Park, I suggest that you emphasize the cold winter weather, deep snow and frozen water pipes. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to remind them that there is little shopping in the caldera and no movie theaters. I realize that this may appear selfish but remember that you are doing them a service!

After their first winter, they many will flee back to the flat and the glut of cabins on the market will drive down real estate prices. They will have to sell their property at a loss. Make their financial well-being a priority and discourage tourists from moving to Island Park. It is your humanitarian duty.